May 12, 2009
This head runs a close race with being my favorite- the other head was a pretty sweet monster. I dont have a picture of that one.

This head runs a close race with being my favorite- the other head was a pretty sweet monster.

I dont have a picture of that one.

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More heads!! I think the medium was mostly felt- foam and a lil’ awesomeness

More heads!!

I think the medium was mostly felt- foam and a lil’ awesomeness

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A head in a window display of an art installation- NYC.
A head in a window display of an art installation- NYC.
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Underwear

I’ve been putting my underwear on inside-out pretty consistently lately.


The strange thing is that I’ve actually been making a conscious effort to put them on correctly.

I hold them out, make sure they’re facing the proper direction and that the tag is in the appropriate place- in the back.


Then- somewhere between my feet entering the right holes and the fabric meeting my knees, the underwear has magically turned itself inside out.

What could this possibly mean?
I’m an idiot?
That the universe thinks my underwear would better suit me being worn inside out?

I’ve tried to analyze this …and failed…

What could possibly be accomplished by this?

WHAT DOES IT MEAN??

…Other than the obvious waste of time it is for me to take them off and start over again. It takes only seconds, really… but seconds do add up.

So, with my attempt to conclude any sort of explanation of this at a standstill- I simply remain dumbfounded.

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The best of both worlds-living in harmony
The best of both worlds-living in harmony
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Rooooar.. the monster in my car seemed to say
Rooooar.. the monster in my car seemed to say
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May 9, 2009
Leonard Nimoy’s Ballad of Bilbo Baggins
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Do I love you

Or do I just desire the thought of loving you? Or love the thought of desiring you?
Have I ever loved anyone? Is that even possible for me to do?
I’m not afraid of being alone anymore- I know that will never happen. I am however afraid of being unhappy. But.. I’m realizing now that being afraid of being unhappy is in fact making me unhappy and preventing events in my life that could make me happy- from happening.
But that’s not the epiphany at hand.
So the question remains, do I love you?
Can’t say it’s too soon to tell- right? Because when you know, you know.
At least that’s what I’ve been told.
And you can’t force those feelings to come any faster. You should just know. You can’t wait- you can’t think too long about it- because then things get distorted and black and white areas turn all shades of gray. Then you worry if you’re making the right decision- double thinking- double guessing-playing games to test whether your or the others person’s intentions and feelings are true or worthy of each other. You over think everything and at some point- you become a different person.
I don’t want that to happen- that’s not exactly  the version of the game of life I wish to participate in.
Do I need to be loved? Absolutely. Should that be the case? No- probably not.
Maybe the fact that I need that level of affection is telling in itself. Maybe the fact that I don’t know if I love you  means that I don’t?
Maybe.. And more likely… the answer to this question  is one that I already have- but have not admitted to knowing.
Ramble ramble ramble…
I’ve got my answer.
But I think it’s best for you to find that out for yourself.
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